Tag: Romance

The Bright Side Of Long Distance Relationships

If given the choice, no one would want to be in a long distance relationship. But life is often not as ideal, and circumstances do force lovers to stay apart. The secret to make it work is to make the most of it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dvortygirl/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dvortygirl/

I was one of those people who thought it better to split up then to stay in a long distance relationship. What is the point of being with someone when you cannot be together? When you have to wait weeks, sometimes months, to kiss each other? Why, particularly at a young age, would you sacrifice the opportunity to live carefree to be tied down to someone whom you cannot see and touch? But then I changed my mind. In all truthfulness, long distance is not that much harder than a ‘normal’ relationship. And there is no evidence that long distance have a higher percentage of failure than regular relationship. It just needs some work. And not everything about it is bad.

There are different kinds of long distance, not all of them are insurmountable. Sometimes the distance is only of a few hours by car, sometimes a few hours by train. But then when it becomes a few hours by plane, the distance feels heavier and more of an obstacle to seeing each other more or less regularly.

It is of outmost importance to make time for each other. Being in a new place, new social scenes, new schedules, and never mind possible time differences! It is difficult to maintain a sense of intimacy and closeness when so many things change, that’s why communication is key.

Another key factor is honesty. You need to be honest to each other about the kind of commitment you are willing to put it, in terms of when can you visit each other, and how long you think you can last in “abstinence.” Having a clear idea of what you can expect from each other is essential in keeping the relationship healthy.

Once the deal is sealed and clear, you can even try enjoying the bright side of being in a long distance relationship. Sure, there are not many advantages, but here is a few that is good to remind yourself of when feeling nostalgic and lonely:

-          More time for yourself

Without your partner filling your weekends and/or weekdays, there is a lot of time that can be filled with “me” time that was previously unavailable! You are free to join that zumba gym class at 10am on Sunday, if you so wish! You can stay in and read a book and having to pay attention to no one but yourself. And mostly, you can go out with your friends and come home whenever you feel like it, because you only have to worry about your time and not trying to combine it with somebody else’s schedule, too.

-          No need to shave as often

Ok, perhaps you go swimming in your newly acquired free time and it does not make a difference, but for most women in long distance relationships, particularly when the weather gets colder, not having your partner around all the time means you can let it grow!

-          Travel excuse

Though it depends on the kind of long distance relationship you find yourself in, it is very likely that you will always have an excuse to travel to see your partner. Sure, it costs money, but isn’t it nice to save up to know that not only you will get to see your loved one, but you also get to travel to a place you miss?

-          Knowing you are not alone

It’s always a great comfort to know you are not alone, particularly when facing potentially challenging experiences like living in a different country. You can always rely on your partner to be supportive, nice, and sweet whenever you need to feel like someone other than your mother truly loves you and cares about you.

 

 

Guilt-Free Summer Romance

Probably the fact that summer is so short makes us want for more pleasure. Here and now. According to psychologists, summer romances can be beneficial. While dating for a fixed period of time, we boost our self-confidence, get adrenaline, broaden our mindset and please our bodies. Yet is it possible to have a guilt-free summer romance? Is it possible to keep the summer relationship short and sweet – and nothing more than that?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mcgraths/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mcgraths/

Ohhh, summer. Hair gets lighter, skin gets darker. Weather gets warmer. Music gets louder. People around get outgoing and friendly. Nights become longer… and we get more adventurous. It is said that people are the most adventurous and tend to be up for a summer romance when they are on holidays in another country. Seems pretty understandable: if you are looking for a discreet romance, you have no intentions for anyone to recognize you.

Summer affair – boost of confidence

According to psychologists, the reason why we keep delighted with our short summer romance is, that we are in a “honeymoon” period, where we tend to idealize the partner we are with. In suh cases, people are usually away from their regular lives, they are relaxed and tend to allow themselves more than they normally would. Due to the warmer weather and the better mood (as well as the small amount of clothes) we tend to observe others more… Besides, there are no co-workers, family members or even friends with them who would judge our behaviour and that is the reason why we tend to ebrace a new relationship quicker. We had a chance to have a discussion with a Danish girl, Anne, 25, (name changed) who has had summer romances for a couple of times while in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria, and Italy.

“I think it’s a great gift to my mind and body to be with someone for a short time”, she says. “I feel free and I just want to flirt a little. Well, I am young and wild, so why not? I know it’s not going to last forever, but that is not what I am looking for”.

By its own definition, summer romances are not meant to last long. It’s like the time with the rushed intimacy and urged desire. “I feel that after the summer, if I had an affair, I am more energized”, says Anne. “I am cheerful and happy and I believe in myself”. Summer flirt can definitely boost your confidence (as long as you are not cheating on anyone!) but can bring a feeling of guilt. If a girl or a woman is single, it helps her to gain self-confidence through her sexuality. And if she has a second half, then this is a question of morality and conscience. The characteristics of a summer affair without commitment is that commitment, however, is – you have to think about the consequences and do your best in order to avoid them. “I always make sure that me and the guy I am with know what we both are doing, that we both are find with it and that we are safe. I don’t want to cheat and I don’t want him to be cheating or expecting something more”.

What about the feeling of guilt?

Psychologists suggest that number one rule in summer affair is being truthful to yourself and your own needs. If you realize your heart has wounds from a previous relationship and you would rather date someone rather than have a short affair, don’t even try that. Realizing what your expectations are will keep you away from feeling guilty and/or hurt. ”A friend of mine was very hurt after her previous boyfriend. She went with me to Bulgaria where we both quickly found two very attractive men. While I just wanted to have fun, she wanted to be appreciated and got hurt afterwards again”, says Anne. “You have to know what you want and need”.

According to psychologists, the feeling of guilt is varying from person to person, yet the most who have had summer affair feel guilty for having done that because they realize they have romantic feelings. Therefore, besides your own expectations, be clear with intentions while being with another person. If you don’t fall in love yourself, it doesn’t mean that your summer partners feels the same way as you do. Make sure you both are on the same page and you know that summer romance is not the beginning to a relationship.

Don’t be too carefree – there are some rules to follow even between the sheets. Maintain the feeling of responsibility, do not forget contraception and clear the things out before it’s too late. “I always make sure that both me and my summer partner are safe. It would be my worst nightmare to get pregnant!”, shares Anne.

As I once read – summers of love are like mini vacations from yourself and the world we all normally live in. There, ladies, enjoy your love holidays and be truthful to your heart and expectations…

Why Do Strong Women Usually Stay Alone?

I know some strong women. Goal-oriented, interesting, hard-working women, who are also smart and good-looking yet alone. How does that happen? I would like to believe that men are attracted to goal-reaching women yet a friend of mine says “men are afraid of me since men think I am too strong”. Where’s the golden mean? 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/herlitzpbs/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/herlitzpbs/

The excuse for not finding a partner could be prolonged: women do not want to have a man who is weaker than them, who is earning less than a woman and so forth. Such women generally are leaders in their relationships, meaning, that they are leading and “managing” men. What do men think about such women?

The other day I had a chance to discuss the topic with three friends of mine – Lithuanian Lukas, Bulgarian Kiril and Danish Christian who shared their opinions on a topic about strong women.

What’s your perception on strong woman?

“I would be happy if I’m seeing someone who is passionate about what she is doing, and going all in to make it happen. But the downside for me would be that I would be conserned if she goes down with stress because she can’t distinguish between family and work. I guess she would also be very busy…” says Christian. Apparently, we are hitting the ground: for men, timing is the issue… “I am not sure if I can speak about all men, but I guess I can give you my opinion – a strong woman doesn’t necessary need to be cocky or goal-oriented or manly, actually these words don’t have much to do with being strong, I think…the word “strong” defines a person, without any specifics about gender…” thinks Kiril.

What if a woman would earn more?

Due to rapidly changing situation when men are not the only breadwinners in the family, it seems that perception is changing as well.  ”If I would be afraid of the fact that woman would earn more, most probably I would not start a relationship as such. If we speak about established relationship already, and if she is happy with me, than I do not see what to be afraid of.” says Lukas. “Yet I would normaly expect a man to be more competitive, but I’m sure that is because im in a “old fashion mindset” where the man is normaly having the best payed job and taking care of the family.” says Christian. “The thing I wouldn’t like about a girlfriend who is very competitive is that I believe it would be harder to accept defeat. I think the compromise would be harder to achieve  just because she wants  come out as the winner” says he.

Even though majority of strong women are worried about the fact that they cannot find partner and think that men could be unwilling to start serious relationship with them, it seems that men are not afraid of strong women at all. It becomes obvious that strong women could use some self-confidence either should lower the standards (which could be relatively hard, especially if you are successful and extremely busy, so you do not have time either to find a partner or keep your relationship). Yet probably the feeling of challenge makes men motivated in such relationships?.. Let us leave an open question for you to come up with your own conclusions.

What Turns Your Man On?

Quality lingerie, lace stockings and sweet feminine perfume will turn him on towards having an intimate relationship with you. If you really want to turn on a guy, you need to become fanciable by him. The more he is interested in you – the more he desires you. Yet how to make him desire – as well as turn him on without the usage of the feminine tricks? Men claim that they like strong, yet tender and sweet women, and we have a plan for you on how to become one so that he would fancy you even more.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/67835627@N05/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/

The looks

Since men are visual by nature, they will for sure notice your appearance. You don’t have to be the most beautiful woman on Earth to make him interested, however, you should take care of yourself: your hair, make-up and clothing should be simple yet attracting. Don’t forget that they get turned on by what they see – so make yourself look appealing.

Being able to drive

I remember when my mom put the shoe sign in a car as soon as she purchased one. Probably it was sexy and flirty back then, but do not do anything like that nowadays. A woman who loves speed and drives good gives a bonus point to your invisible account.

Flirt

Regardless of the stage of your relationship, flirt with him. Be sure you show the signs of sympathy (constantly looking at him, smiling, slightly touching yourself, innocently touching his arm while talking etc.) and leave the sense of intrigue. If you have been together for a while, you can pretend to be a stranger, invite him to a public place such as library or restaurant, and flirt with him as if you two meet for the first time in your lives.

Yoga and gymnastics

Realizing that a woman is really flexible, without a doubt, really turns men on. Well, is she can do wonders while training, who knows what else she can do…

Their Sundays

As he would touch her skin, she would always flinch. And her skin would always get funny-looking goosebumps. He would smile, and she would smile back knowing that the soft finger-tip touch is just the beginning. It always is.

Picture made by Sanya Khomenko

She was a little naïve girl, who had left her head somewhere in a smoke-filled bar, where they met long time ago. She was artistic. Feminine. Short and bubbly. And she adored autumn. She would kick piles of leaves in the towns forgotten street, where the two of them used to walk on Sundays after a sophisticated saxophone concert and a grand cup of cappuccino in a cozy secluded café somewhere in Boulevard. She would take a couple of reddish-looking maple leaves to twist a rose afterwards. She would get lost in magical autumn colors and he would get lost in her. They knew – its another season; another reason for making love.