Tag: Relationship

Why Do Strong Women Usually Stay Alone?

I know some strong women. Goal-oriented, interesting, hard-working women, who are also smart and good-looking yet alone. How does that happen? I would like to believe that men are attracted to goal-reaching women yet a friend of mine says “men are afraid of me since men think I am too strong”. Where’s the golden mean? 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/herlitzpbs/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/herlitzpbs/

The excuse for not finding a partner could be prolonged: women do not want to have a man who is weaker than them, who is earning less than a woman and so forth. Such women generally are leaders in their relationships, meaning, that they are leading and “managing” men. What do men think about such women?

The other day I had a chance to discuss the topic with three friends of mine – Lithuanian Lukas, Bulgarian Kiril and Danish Christian who shared their opinions on a topic about strong women.

What’s your perception on strong woman?

“I would be happy if I’m seeing someone who is passionate about what she is doing, and going all in to make it happen. But the downside for me would be that I would be conserned if she goes down with stress because she can’t distinguish between family and work. I guess she would also be very busy…” says Christian. Apparently, we are hitting the ground: for men, timing is the issue… “I am not sure if I can speak about all men, but I guess I can give you my opinion – a strong woman doesn’t necessary need to be cocky or goal-oriented or manly, actually these words don’t have much to do with being strong, I think…the word “strong” defines a person, without any specifics about gender…” thinks Kiril.

What if a woman would earn more?

Due to rapidly changing situation when men are not the only breadwinners in the family, it seems that perception is changing as well.  ”If I would be afraid of the fact that woman would earn more, most probably I would not start a relationship as such. If we speak about established relationship already, and if she is happy with me, than I do not see what to be afraid of.” says Lukas. “Yet I would normaly expect a man to be more competitive, but I’m sure that is because im in a “old fashion mindset” where the man is normaly having the best payed job and taking care of the family.” says Christian. “The thing I wouldn’t like about a girlfriend who is very competitive is that I believe it would be harder to accept defeat. I think the compromise would be harder to achieve  just because she wants  come out as the winner” says he.

Even though majority of strong women are worried about the fact that they cannot find partner and think that men could be unwilling to start serious relationship with them, it seems that men are not afraid of strong women at all. It becomes obvious that strong women could use some self-confidence either should lower the standards (which could be relatively hard, especially if you are successful and extremely busy, so you do not have time either to find a partner or keep your relationship). Yet probably the feeling of challenge makes men motivated in such relationships?.. Let us leave an open question for you to come up with your own conclusions.

The Difference Of “Loving” & “Being In Love”

Like a lot of our readers, I read a lot of dating blogs. One of my favorite bloggers is Evan Marc Katz, whom some of you may be familiar with for having written ‘Why You’re Still Single’. Although he’s no longer single, as he is married to a woman he met online, he still gives excellent dating advice to his readers while keeping his blog just as vibrant as ever.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vizzzual-dot-com/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vizzzual-dot-com/

One such advice column is ‘Is It Ok To Love Someone But Not Be In Love’. In it, there is an example of a man, asking what his girlfriend meant when she told him that she loves him but isn’t “in love” with him anymore, and how that affects their plans to buy a house and marry within the next year. Katz’s response to the reader is very explicit: there is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone, but from this short intro into the topic.

The feeling of being “in love”, and how it can blind us to the partnership of our dreams. Danish people have two ways of saying I love you, and it actually is a big difference when they say “I am in love with you” (jeg er forelsket i dig) and “I love you” (jeg elsker dig), as the first is very specific and intimate, whereas the second can be attributed to a lot of things. Katz’s blog posting got me thinking about this elusive but oh-so-wonderful feeling, and how we know that we’re in love in the first place.  However, is saying to someone that you care for them deeply but aren’t feeling that passionate oozy goodness anymore really a bad thing, or is it more an evolution of what truly loving someone is?

Love evolves, similar to what researchers have found when reviewing long term relationships and how feelings change throughout the lifetime of a relationship. There is the ‘honeymoon’ period, which can last anywhere from a couple of weeks to 18 months or so, where the “in love” feelings are the most present. The highs are incredibly high, the lows are sometimes a bit scary, and as a whole it’s a pretty powerful, earth-shattering feeling. This is the stage where people act more impulsively than normal, and say things that they normally wouldn’t.

Afterwards, most of us move into a more stable type of love, if the relationship can last through that crazy “in love’ process: something more dependable, resilient and unconditional appears. It’s the kind of love you know you can spend the rest of your life basking in, enjoying and growing old with.

For some of us, moving from the one stage to the other might feel a bit like ‘falling out of love’, or not being ‘in love’ anymore. For others, a crash, not unlike from a sugar high, and we crave more of that high again, so we seek it out elsewhere. Although I have yet to read any scientific proof that coincides with my feelings on this topic, it’s just my guess that this is why, and when, many relationships go south. To me, this is the stage where love becomes a choice and not a wave to ride, and for some of us that wave is a bit too heady and exciting to not live with every single day of our lives. But is it realistic to think that we can find that, or are we ending perfectly good, stable, loving relationships in search of it?

What Turns Your Man On?

Quality lingerie, lace stockings and sweet feminine perfume will turn him on towards having an intimate relationship with you. If you really want to turn on a guy, you need to become fanciable by him. The more he is interested in you – the more he desires you. Yet how to make him desire – as well as turn him on without the usage of the feminine tricks? Men claim that they like strong, yet tender and sweet women, and we have a plan for you on how to become one so that he would fancy you even more.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/67835627@N05/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/

The looks

Since men are visual by nature, they will for sure notice your appearance. You don’t have to be the most beautiful woman on Earth to make him interested, however, you should take care of yourself: your hair, make-up and clothing should be simple yet attracting. Don’t forget that they get turned on by what they see – so make yourself look appealing.

Being able to drive

I remember when my mom put the shoe sign in a car as soon as she purchased one. Probably it was sexy and flirty back then, but do not do anything like that nowadays. A woman who loves speed and drives good gives a bonus point to your invisible account.

Flirt

Regardless of the stage of your relationship, flirt with him. Be sure you show the signs of sympathy (constantly looking at him, smiling, slightly touching yourself, innocently touching his arm while talking etc.) and leave the sense of intrigue. If you have been together for a while, you can pretend to be a stranger, invite him to a public place such as library or restaurant, and flirt with him as if you two meet for the first time in your lives.

Yoga and gymnastics

Realizing that a woman is really flexible, without a doubt, really turns men on. Well, is she can do wonders while training, who knows what else she can do…

At Times, She Would Hate Valentines

Starting with the year of 2004, when she was only fourteen and made her first unsuccessful attempt to bake muffins for her classmate that she had a crush on, she hated Valentines. Back then, muffins turned out to be too moist and sour. He didn’t like it. She felt embarrassed and stroked the fourteen from the month of February in her calendar, as if it hadn’t existed at all.

Muffin set

http://www.flickr.com/photos/buzzymelibee/

This year she’s baking muffins for the one that she loves, and this year her kitchen smells like sweet cinnamon (and so does she!) – and she knows that he is definitely going to like it.

The first time she brought muffins to him was when they were still dating. Chocolaty, round and soft – and the sweet muffin lure had even ended with a sweeter kiss. She even remembers the taste. His lips were full and soft, and so tempting. He was slightly blushing and so was she, while she kept repeating “kiss me, kiss me!” in her mind. And it happened. Must be the witchcraft of muffins. Since then he calls her “my muffin.”

a kiss

http://www.flickr.com/photos/scatto_felino/

To this day she still pretends to hate Valentines, even though she has bought an expensive 10 year old wine – just because he likes it, and just because it reminds them about their romantic holidays in a distant and enchanting Portugal. She even bought him a small present. “Must be the witchcraft of muffins,” she repeated with a smile as she was putting the dress on; the same one she wore when they kissed for the first time.

Valentine’s Day Means Something Different To Men Than It Does To Women

One thing your man wants above all others for Valentine’s Day: he wants you to be happy. Whether he chooses to bring home seashells he picked up from the beach, or give you pearls he ordered from some brand shop, he wants to feel that he’s made your day. You see, the average guy starts to get pretty nervous around this holiday because he knows you’re expecting something special. That’s a lot of pressure. So if he tries to do something special, remember to bubble over in rapturous appreciation. Believe me, your enthusiasm will mean more to him than any present you can buy (and may result in even better presents next time, as you build his confidence).

Valentines

Says Dr. Haltzman – clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University

If  you’re willing to spend a little on a Valentine’s Day gift, you have to consider for how long you have been together and what is the status of the relationship (1 year marriage , 1 -2 years relationship or 1 month relationship) as then you can figure out what type of present is appropriate. When picking a gift try being funny and practical at the same time. Guys are more willing to share what they want than girls so if you are lacking any ideas just ask him and everybody will be happy in the end .

Some men want material objects for Valentine’s Day, but the majority of them would rather have time with you then something you bought. Going out to dinner, for example, is nice for both of you. Seeing you smiling while eating will mean as much to him as glancing at you over candlelight and fillet mignon. Going out for a walk together, taking the dog out for a Frisbee catch, bringing home a video or some Chinese food all say, “I enjoy being with you” are worth more than a new silk tie.

10 Things Men Wish Women Would Know

It is no longer a surprise that men think differently than women. Most of these differences are known but others remain a mystery. Let us hear some opinions from men of what they wish their partners would know.

1. Respect Me, Please

A man would rather feel unloved than non-respected. Men need to know that their lovers respect them both in public and private. They get strength and feel much more secure when they know that their partners admire them and trust them.

2. Think Of What You Say

The lack of security and respect in a men’s life will result in various types of rage. Therefore think twice about some words flung by because it just might just be enough.

3. Boost My Self-Esteem

Men are insecure, especially when in love. Men statistically fear more failure in life than women do. Therefore will need that extra bit of self esteem from their partners in order to conquer the world.

4. Help Me, When Needed

Most men feel pressured by the archetypal standard  of being the men of the house, they are programmed to sustain their families and deliver them only the best. When this is not possible  stress and anxiety settle in. This is when a woman is needed the most to appreciate them and strengthen them up. Gender roles might have become equal but the way each instinct is acting has not.

5. Make Me Feel Wanted

Men have a higher sex drive. And this is biologically known, but not always necessarily because of those matters. They generally want more sex in a relationship because they want to feel they belong to someone, to feel loved and wanted.

6.    Care About Me

When sex is more than just the simple act, it usually is to fulfill some kind of insecurity , or the way he genuinely shows he cares. Any healthy relationship has at the core of it good chemistry in bed .

7.   Dress Up & Make Me Crazy

Men, as women, have their temptations. In men visual temptations are a bit more powerful though. They respond to  visual desires at a primitive level, such as the brain triggers hunger. These could sometimes become  uncontrollable and take a while to be processed by the unconscious, to let them know if it is a good or bad thing and how to react to it.

8.   Gimme Some Romance

Men like and want romance in their love life. Although they don’t have the trust in themselves that they have the capacity to be true romantics. Of course they try and practice , but it is always a bit too hard to focus and nail each movement and signal sent, especially in front of something they love or in a situation where they feel nervous and don’t exactly know what they are doing. Simply they don’t want to look like a fool in front of you.

9.  Put That Lipstick On

Men, contrary to what they say, do care how their girlfriends look. That doesn’t mean you have to look like an actress or a supermodel, they just want you to remain the same girl they used to date and in response they’ll do the extra mile to look how you want if not imposed on them. If he tells you that a certain dress or this particular lipstick looks fabulous on you do put it on from time to time (even if you’re not too fond of it) just to make him feel special. He will appreciate it.

10. Let Me Love You

Men wish to always make their girlfriends feel loved and appreciated. They don’t think they always have the capacity to do that , but in their own way they do little gestures to show they care. They’ll always do something that had a great response from your behalf therefore give them the hints, they’ll be grateful for it as they can’t read minds.