Probably the fact that summer is so short makes us want for more pleasure. Here and now. According to psychologists, summer romances can be beneficial. While dating for a fixed period of time, we boost our self-confidence, get adrenaline, broaden our mindset and please our bodies. Yet is it possible to have a guilt-free summer romance? Is it possible to keep the summer relationship short and sweet – and nothing more than that?
Ohhh, summer. Hair gets lighter, skin gets darker. Weather gets warmer. Music gets louder. People around get outgoing and friendly. Nights become longer… and we get more adventurous. It is said that people are the most adventurous and tend to be up for a summer romance when they are on holidays in another country. Seems pretty understandable: if you are looking for a discreet romance, you have no intentions for anyone to recognize you.
Summer affair – boost of confidence
According to psychologists, the reason why we keep delighted with our short summer romance is, that we are in a “honeymoon” period, where we tend to idealize the partner we are with. In suh cases, people are usually away from their regular lives, they are relaxed and tend to allow themselves more than they normally would. Due to the warmer weather and the better mood (as well as the small amount of clothes) we tend to observe others more… Besides, there are no co-workers, family members or even friends with them who would judge our behaviour and that is the reason why we tend to ebrace a new relationship quicker. We had a chance to have a discussion with a Danish girl, Anne, 25, (name changed) who has had summer romances for a couple of times while in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria, and Italy.
“I think it’s a great gift to my mind and body to be with someone for a short time”, she says. “I feel free and I just want to flirt a little. Well, I am young and wild, so why not? I know it’s not going to last forever, but that is not what I am looking for”.
By its own definition, summer romances are not meant to last long. It’s like the time with the rushed intimacy and urged desire. “I feel that after the summer, if I had an affair, I am more energized”, says Anne. “I am cheerful and happy and I believe in myself”. Summer flirt can definitely boost your confidence (as long as you are not cheating on anyone!) but can bring a feeling of guilt. If a girl or a woman is single, it helps her to gain self-confidence through her sexuality. And if she has a second half, then this is a question of morality and conscience. The characteristics of a summer affair without commitment is that commitment, however, is – you have to think about the consequences and do your best in order to avoid them. “I always make sure that me and the guy I am with know what we both are doing, that we both are find with it and that we are safe. I don’t want to cheat and I don’t want him to be cheating or expecting something more”.
What about the feeling of guilt?
Psychologists suggest that number one rule in summer affair is being truthful to yourself and your own needs. If you realize your heart has wounds from a previous relationship and you would rather date someone rather than have a short affair, don’t even try that. Realizing what your expectations are will keep you away from feeling guilty and/or hurt. ”A friend of mine was very hurt after her previous boyfriend. She went with me to Bulgaria where we both quickly found two very attractive men. While I just wanted to have fun, she wanted to be appreciated and got hurt afterwards again”, says Anne. “You have to know what you want and need”.
According to psychologists, the feeling of guilt is varying from person to person, yet the most who have had summer affair feel guilty for having done that because they realize they have romantic feelings. Therefore, besides your own expectations, be clear with intentions while being with another person. If you don’t fall in love yourself, it doesn’t mean that your summer partners feels the same way as you do. Make sure you both are on the same page and you know that summer romance is not the beginning to a relationship.
Don’t be too carefree – there are some rules to follow even between the sheets. Maintain the feeling of responsibility, do not forget contraception and clear the things out before it’s too late. “I always make sure that both me and my summer partner are safe. It would be my worst nightmare to get pregnant!”, shares Anne.
As I once read – summers of love are like mini vacations from yourself and the world we all normally live in. There, ladies, enjoy your love holidays and be truthful to your heart and expectations…