If given the choice, no one would want to be in a long distance relationship. But life is often not as ideal, and circumstances do force lovers to stay apart. The secret to make it work is to make the most of it.
I was one of those people who thought it better to split up then to stay in a long distance relationship. What is the point of being with someone when you cannot be together? When you have to wait weeks, sometimes months, to kiss each other? Why, particularly at a young age, would you sacrifice the opportunity to live carefree to be tied down to someone whom you cannot see and touch? But then I changed my mind. In all truthfulness, long distance is not that much harder than a ‘normal’ relationship. And there is no evidence that long distance have a higher percentage of failure than regular relationship. It just needs some work. And not everything about it is bad.
There are different kinds of long distance, not all of them are insurmountable. Sometimes the distance is only of a few hours by car, sometimes a few hours by train. But then when it becomes a few hours by plane, the distance feels heavier and more of an obstacle to seeing each other more or less regularly.
It is of outmost importance to make time for each other. Being in a new place, new social scenes, new schedules, and never mind possible time differences! It is difficult to maintain a sense of intimacy and closeness when so many things change, that’s why communication is key.
Another key factor is honesty. You need to be honest to each other about the kind of commitment you are willing to put it, in terms of when can you visit each other, and how long you think you can last in “abstinence.” Having a clear idea of what you can expect from each other is essential in keeping the relationship healthy.
Once the deal is sealed and clear, you can even try enjoying the bright side of being in a long distance relationship. Sure, there are not many advantages, but here is a few that is good to remind yourself of when feeling nostalgic and lonely:
- More time for yourself
Without your partner filling your weekends and/or weekdays, there is a lot of time that can be filled with “me” time that was previously unavailable! You are free to join that zumba gym class at 10am on Sunday, if you so wish! You can stay in and read a book and having to pay attention to no one but yourself. And mostly, you can go out with your friends and come home whenever you feel like it, because you only have to worry about your time and not trying to combine it with somebody else’s schedule, too.
- No need to shave as often
Ok, perhaps you go swimming in your newly acquired free time and it does not make a difference, but for most women in long distance relationships, particularly when the weather gets colder, not having your partner around all the time means you can let it grow!
- Travel excuse
Though it depends on the kind of long distance relationship you find yourself in, it is very likely that you will always have an excuse to travel to see your partner. Sure, it costs money, but isn’t it nice to save up to know that not only you will get to see your loved one, but you also get to travel to a place you miss?
- Knowing you are not alone
It’s always a great comfort to know you are not alone, particularly when facing potentially challenging experiences like living in a different country. You can always rely on your partner to be supportive, nice, and sweet whenever you need to feel like someone other than your mother truly loves you and cares about you.